Dear Family

Thanks for bearing with me, but its so important to describe the living portrait that our Creator was painting that night.......

As the sun was setting I began our memorial by reading my calling prayer, Shangrila......and I followed that with Suncatcher......I found myself choking up a little and tearing as I read those prayers aloud....the wine came in handy.... yet, I read these prayers with conviction and belief......and as I always do, I
then imagined that many, many angels were now everywhere....invisible to human eyes, but like in that movie with Nicolas Cage......all assembled,
waiting to hear........because our love is so intense and so genuine....how could it be otherwise....I said hello and thank you for coming.

And then I began the sharing........but it was different this time......different than all the times before.......because I suddenly went way beyond just the words or names I was given to share or read... I actively engaged God and the angels in
conversation....through the words and names you gaveme....after each sharing, I elaborated.....

Now see God, this mom Arlene, she calls her son "Her Little Light"......his name is Daniel.....and she loves him.......do you see, do you understand?....
of course you do.....but it matters.....and then there is Jan's Daniel, the one you chose to be your Voice, the one who is playing on the box right now.... these moms miss their kids.....they love them as much today as the day they were born.....maybe even more......

Dan's song Jordan still brings me to my knees every time I hear it......the Chosen of God...... and then there are the young moms who lost their
brothers, who are fighting hard to try and get their broken families repaired..... death does that God, you know this......it splits the peace and love and
harmony sometimes, leaving devastation in its wake...and everyone wants to get back to how it was.... but so far cannot.......they need your help......they
need love to come back to what it was....for everyone to be happy again, but they cannot do it on their own..

My friend Bryan has been working hard to get his life on track since his little angel Ashley had to go.... and he's doing ok, but you know, it takes so damn long God to rebuild our lives......death of our beloveds to these awful brain tumors was a heavy price.....a heavy price we paid for our love.....could you maybe put some light in our path....lighten the load....

"I MISS MY FRIEND!" my friend declares as she remembers her precious David.....can you feel the power of love in her proclamation?  Linda misses her daughter Lori so much her heart is breaking in two.......so much pain in loss....

Marilynn cries for her daughter Brittany. Shannon cries for her father Steven
and she asks for healing for young Brandon.... Kristin writes me and shares that she is the "Little Light's" sister, and that she feels her brother walking with God......and this calms her......and she shared that she too has been in that hospital chapel where I fell down upon my knees for Stacia and Hope and Stacia......but behind her words, I see and feel the pain she still feels......

Its what I see behind the words of everyone who has ever lost someone......I see how things were and how they are.......all of us in various stages of recovery from our loss........but so broken......so hurt that we often tremble, we cry in the shadows or in the car as we are driving along the road.....we suffer from our love, and I shout to you tonight as I read these messages, bring us comfort, bring us memories, bring us signs that eternity is more than just an idea, a hope or a wish.......I wish God that you would let everyone see what you have let me see......

That Heaven is our destination.

And our loved ones are watching all of us from up above......from a place whose Beauty cannot be contained or described in words.......but only feeling, feeling LOVE.......love breaks the boundaries down and the infinite becomes our new home.......the entrance guarded by the Great Living Tree from which you
ushered all life to Being....and that once Being, weare eternal in love.......suffer us our laments, but give us comfort.....we thirst for our lost ones....

for Tony, Sophie, Zara, Lauren, Megan, Karla, Graham, Michael, Tommy, Abbey, Paula, Karina's mother....Kevin, Adele, Matthew, Rick, dear Scott, Eric, Cindy and Paige,

For all the spouses who have lost their husbands....what is to become of them, God, what is to become ofthem?....they share their love tonight... they speak of how their kids are doing, and they pray for their husbands to be proud...

Dale, John, Matt, Naresh, Shelley, Lee, Rick, Les.  So many, many saints we had to give back......

Sharon's Kirby, Lisa's Brad, Heather and Sybie's Edie (Sometimes in an Instant), Emily's father, Lee and so many others that I may have not mentioned in this writing, but that I prayed to you for......

A pause.......the Chardonnay was flowing freely now, I opened the second bottle and after all the readings were done...........I held up my pictures of Stacia Lost and Stacia/Hope Born........and I cried....I get it........I get it.......but I still wish I had our Stacia.......Do you hear me?????? I still wish we had her here with us, in our arms........

And that's about when I guess I stopped talking and started listening....... "You have a question, George?" silence "You have a question, George?"

YES I DO. Where is my damn sign? Where is my damn sign? Like a little child, I walked upon the back of the boat, immersed in darkness, pure darkness....it was vey late now......sheepishly, God.....where is my sign?

More silence

"Can you not see it, George? You have but to look at the papers in your hands."

And as I heard that voice inside my head tell me to look back upon the emails and papers in my hands.... I realized that the sign was in my hands... it was in all the love that everyone had shared....the answer to my question is......

We are the sign.  And I got it. I cried my eyes out. We are the sign. Our love is the sign. I cried myself to sleep.

And the next day I awoke and I was both drained and soothed.......I said thank you to my Creator for listening and I decided to just go out and do a slow
troll along the Squaw Creek Arm, from the Crow's Nest to the harbor, I would just soak in the surrounding Beauty and feel God's love......God's Promise.  It is enough for me. I can wait. I shall wait....and while I am waiting I shall live.....I shall.....fish (you can laugh now).

The day was gorgeous. The sun came out at dawn and not a cloud found the sky the entire day. The water went flat for over eight hours. And, as God would
have it, it turned out to be the best day trolling I ever had.......I caught 12 trout......300 feet of line out and no one else to drive the boat, as each fish
hit I ran back, set the hook and reeled them in while no one was driving....HA!............my catch included a 3-pound German Brown and a 5 1/2 pound rainbow.

I had timed myself to arrive at the entrance to Holiday Harbor at just before sunset.......my broken-ness was gone for now.....peace descended upon my soul, and I did what I do and lived in the day.

That's when they came.

Standing on the back of the houseboat, leaned over holding the rail, no one driving, just slowly cruising along......small birds flying low on the water began
to reach the back of my boat.....at first it was just a few......and it was fun.....sometimes they parted to the sides, flying very fast.....sometimes they darted straight up and over me.......and they kept coming... more and more......what is this I said to myself...are these sparrows? what are they?...

Soon they were legion, and I realized they were flying South to North........a huge winged migration...... small, beautiful, fast, yellow-bellies, black necks
and green-gray backs.......hundreds and hundreds they came flying low on the water, their path intersecting my houseboat for five minutes.......at once I thought to grab my camera......but I let that go......this was another gift to be felt, to be known, to once again bless us in a natural sign of God's great love
for us........I stood in them and held out my arms as they kept coming........

A winged migration. Coincidence?

Ten minutes earlier and I miss this, 10 minutes later and I miss this........but instead, these beautiful lovely little birds kept speeding by for what seemed
like forever......what an experience......how do you thank God after acting like a pouty little boy.... He shows you the truth and then the following day gives you what you wanted anyway.

By loving God. I believe in You. By trusting God, shall I live my life. Keep my girl well until you bring me home, Lord. And thank you for the Flight of the Warblers.

Love, all my love
George

P.S. After returning home, I identified the bird colony I had been immersed in......they were Warblers. To be more specific, they were MacGillivray's
Warblers........returning from their winter home in Mexico or Central America to the Yukon and beyond.

God bless the Angels.