To
My Sister, Lauren (Lar)
Before
Lauren there was Meghan. No one knew Meghan, she was my
imaginary sister. Most kids have an imaginary friend, I
had an imaginary sister. I wanted a sister since I learned
what a sister was, and I took Meghan everywhere with me.
I remember when mom was pregnant I use to lay with her
and put my head on her belly and talk to you. I knew the
first time I touched mom’s belly that you were a
girl and I couldn’t wait to meet you, my baby sister.
I was so excited when you were born; you were exactly what
I imagined. Meghan disappeared that day.
From
then on it was you and me and it was great. It was so much
fun to carry you around, to play with you, dress you up,
and lay with you. It was like a real life doll. I always
tried to take care of you as best as I could. We know you
had your moments, but overall it was the best. I never
felt lonely when you were with me.
There
are so many memories, but a few that stand out. The night
Dad was cooking and you were sitting on the counter next
to him. I was practicing my tap dancing on the kitchen
floor and mom was at work. Dad’s shirt caught on
fire and he went to put it out and it flew up and landed
in your hair. He instinctly grabbed you and put you under
the sink and it was out in seconds. You were so scared
you wouldn’t let him hold you and you came running
to me. I think I held you the whole night and Dad felt
so bad - you weren’t mad at him you were just scared.
I remember being so happy that you let me comfort you when
you were scared.
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I use the
word Dad in here because it brings up another memory that I have
of you. It’s of the age when you started to understand
that I had another Dad too. I remember you came into my room
one day and I thought you were trying to bother me, as all little
sisters like to do. But you sat on my bed and said to me; “even
if you have another Dad I will always share my Dad with you because
he’s the best Dad in the world.” After that day I
knew you would always take care of me too.
Time passed
and we grew up and things changed. I got to that age where friends
seemed more important then family, but when I look back on all
my pictures, even when I didn’t realize it, you were there.
You were so selfless, always helping me, listening to me, always
being there for me. I started to lean on you as the days passed
and we talked more and more, I leaned on you probably more then
you would ever know.
When I moved away
I missed you every day, but you always said I was doing what was
best for me and you always believed in me. You never judged me or
told me I was wrong. You were just always there supporting me and
letting me lean on you. When you went away to school I wasn’t
there, but in your voice I could hear the joy and excitement, there
was no fear. You were so strong and I was so proud. I couldn’t
believe this was my baby sister.
I have to admit, although I never did, my
biggest fear was something happening while I was so far
away. The night before my birthday when Mom called me,
she had so much fear, and I realized my nightmare was real.
When I got to Penn and saw you I thought it wasn’t
you. Then you smiled at me and said “what are you
doing here, it’s your birthday,” and then I
knew it was really you. When I left again I held you in
my heart and I thought about you everyday. I knew that
you were suffering and I felt so far away.
If I
could freeze one moment, even though there are so many,
I would pick our week in Cally, only the Ya Ya’s
know. I want you to know how much I love you and how much
I always will. I will take you with me in my heart always,
everywhere. You are my sunshine, my hero, my best friend,
and no matter what you will always be my baby sister. I
love you.
Love,
Liz (sis)
Read
by Liz at Lauren's services, July 23, 2005
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